Violence: Hit, Kick, Scratch & Attacking Others.

What do you do about children who hit, kick, scratch or attack others both @ home or school??

Once again, I would like to remind all parents that YOU must state the rules.
Do not think that only in school your child needs rules.
At home and also before you go outing with your children, ALWAYS, ALWAYS state what you expect from them and what you would do if they disobey you.
REPEAT the rules with them before doing anything. Let them repeat it after you to make sure that they comprehend the consequences of their actions.

"I cannot let you hit people. If you have to hit, then bang on the floor (or punching bag or lump of clay). I know how you feel, But I cannot let you hurt people, and I cannot let them hurt you." That's that. You can kneel down and talk to the child directly while looking into his / her eyes, holding the child if necessary.

Some children may have to be held or carried or allowed to thrash around away from the other children. These storm pass, though, and adults should not waste their breath talking, scolding or explaining when the child is not ready to listen.

Stay nearby the child and do not panic. Do not at any point rage back at the child for at this point of time, your child is not ready to listen to you. Only when your child had quieten down will you approached him / her and ONLY then are you to talk.

When talking to the child, put your arms around and reassure the child that all will be ok. You can tell the child that you are willing to listen. Only then will you remind him / her about your rules and why you need to put him / her aside for a while previously.

Remind him / her that for every action there will be a positive or negative reaction from others.

GOOD LUCK!!! Try it..

Restless Child / Children

What do you do when your child / children run around the room, knocking into people and things???

First, you try to understand why your child / children is behaving this way as you try to settle them.

Children may act wild and restless because they are hungry or scared or even excited by what they had seen in the room. Adults that respond with anger and loud voices may actually excite the child / children further. Thus instead of trying to stop them and speed things up, we are actually aggitating them further.

1) What you can do is to actually greet the child / children with a firm but kind voice. Only then can you direct them to do what you want them to do e.g. bathe, eat or other things.

2) Another thing that you could do is to simply take the galloping child by the hand or put an arm around the child and say , "No more running for now. I want you to play over here for a little while." Lead the child where you would like him / her to be, sit down together and show him / her what you wanted he / she to do.

Often, using this method, you will find that these child / children actually just wanted to be noticed or cuddled.

Try it and you find that your "naughty" child or "restless" children are just a child who wanted some space to be noticed. If you are calm, fair, loving and strong, children will learn to trust you and cooperate with you.

Biting & What To Do??

My Child Bites???

Don't fret. You are not alone in this experience. Once in your lifetime, your child will experienced this incident. He/She would either the victim or the biter.

Points to remember when this incident happens:

1. Separate the two children immediately.

What to do?????

1. Pay attention to the victim. Console him/her. Talk to him/her to subdue his/her crying. Attend to the victim's injury (if there's any).
2. Make eye contact with the 'biter' and inform him/her that you will deal with him/her when you are done attending to the victim.
3. Pass the 'victim' to another adult and then walk to the 'biter' to talk to him/her.

How to talk to the 'biter'???

1. Firmly and clearly, tell the 'biter' that you would not allow any biting in your presence.
2. Informed the 'biter' that you want him/her to play gently with the other children and that in your presence, all children must have a 'safe' time together.
3. Inform the 'biter' that even if you are not around, all children should play together nicely.

PLEASE!!! At no time should an adult bites the 'biter' just TO SHOW him/her how hurtful biting is. It does no good to encourage other children or adult to bite back just to show how it feels. Biting is wrong because it is powerfully destructive and dangerous. Since it is wrong , it is wrong for everyone at all times. NO EXCUSES!!!

Just remind the 'biter' that he/she should not repeat the offence or his/her privileges would be taken away for a few minutes.

Try it and you will be amazed at how the child will listen to you.

BUT you must be CONSISTENT.

The key word to any disciplinary action is CONSISTENCY.

What Do You Do When Your Child Spits??????

Tell your child in a firm and confident way "Do not spit on anybody. If you have to spit, do it in the sink."

No use scolding or getting agitated by his or her action; it probably will not be effective anyway. Tell your child firmly where he or she should spit, but not at people.

Do not waste your breath scolding, talking, or explaining when your child is not listening.

What is Discipline?

Discipline works best when we feel in-charge because we like being with children and respect their need for security

Young children are not expereniced enough, or emotionally mature enough, to be in-charge of themselves over long periods of time. Therefore they need to accept an adult's being in-charge of them.

I believe in discipline that feels strong, not hard; kind, not brutal; that holds children when they break loose not punishes by hitting back.

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