What do you do about children who hit, kick, scratch or attack others both @ home or school??
Once again, I would like to remind all parents that YOU must state the rules.
Do not think that only in school your child needs rules.
At home and also before you go outing with your children, ALWAYS, ALWAYS state what you expect from them and what you would do if they disobey you.
REPEAT the rules with them before doing anything. Let them repeat it after you to make sure that they comprehend the consequences of their actions.
"I cannot let you hit people. If you have to hit, then bang on the floor (or punching bag or lump of clay). I know how you feel, But I cannot let you hurt people, and I cannot let them hurt you." That's that. You can kneel down and talk to the child directly while looking into his / her eyes, holding the child if necessary.
Some children may have to be held or carried or allowed to thrash around away from the other children. These storm pass, though, and adults should not waste their breath talking, scolding or explaining when the child is not ready to listen.
Stay nearby the child and do not panic. Do not at any point rage back at the child for at this point of time, your child is not ready to listen to you. Only when your child had quieten down will you approached him / her and ONLY then are you to talk.
When talking to the child, put your arms around and reassure the child that all will be ok. You can tell the child that you are willing to listen. Only then will you remind him / her about your rules and why you need to put him / her aside for a while previously.
Remind him / her that for every action there will be a positive or negative reaction from others.
GOOD LUCK!!! Try it..
Friday, March 14, 2008
Restless Child / Children
What do you do when your child / children run around the room, knocking into people and things???
First, you try to understand why your child / children is behaving this way as you try to settle them.
Children may act wild and restless because they are hungry or scared or even excited by what they had seen in the room. Adults that respond with anger and loud voices may actually excite the child / children further. Thus instead of trying to stop them and speed things up, we are actually aggitating them further.
1) What you can do is to actually greet the child / children with a firm but kind voice. Only then can you direct them to do what you want them to do e.g. bathe, eat or other things.
2) Another thing that you could do is to simply take the galloping child by the hand or put an arm around the child and say , "No more running for now. I want you to play over here for a little while." Lead the child where you would like him / her to be, sit down together and show him / her what you wanted he / she to do.
Often, using this method, you will find that these child / children actually just wanted to be noticed or cuddled.
Try it and you find that your "naughty" child or "restless" children are just a child who wanted some space to be noticed. If you are calm, fair, loving and strong, children will learn to trust you and cooperate with you.
First, you try to understand why your child / children is behaving this way as you try to settle them.
Children may act wild and restless because they are hungry or scared or even excited by what they had seen in the room. Adults that respond with anger and loud voices may actually excite the child / children further. Thus instead of trying to stop them and speed things up, we are actually aggitating them further.
1) What you can do is to actually greet the child / children with a firm but kind voice. Only then can you direct them to do what you want them to do e.g. bathe, eat or other things.
2) Another thing that you could do is to simply take the galloping child by the hand or put an arm around the child and say , "No more running for now. I want you to play over here for a little while." Lead the child where you would like him / her to be, sit down together and show him / her what you wanted he / she to do.
Often, using this method, you will find that these child / children actually just wanted to be noticed or cuddled.
Try it and you find that your "naughty" child or "restless" children are just a child who wanted some space to be noticed. If you are calm, fair, loving and strong, children will learn to trust you and cooperate with you.
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